Exuberance. Vitality. Radiance. Laughter. Passion. Aliveness. Awe. Joy.
Whilst living with cancer all these traits were seemingly elusive.
With joy in particular, there was something restricting it in my body. Skepticism perhaps? It felt a little foreign. Not contentment. Not peacefulness or fleeting happiness.
Joy.
Curiosity takes us down a path of understanding.
Compassion softens the tension of judgment.
Love relaxes the heart’s pains and longings.
Joy brings it all home.
One of the simplest and most fun ways to support the nervous system in reestablishing a new baseline is to focus on Joy. A wonderful book called Radical Remission renewed my interest in narrowing in on joy for healing. I knew gratitude boosted the immune system, I knew social support, certain foods, exercise, fresh air and self-love boosted the immune system. I knew laughter could cure.
Joy was relatively uncharted territory. Who had time for Joy?
I was overwhelmed with information and choices and the emotional waves of dealing with this diagnosis. I was a single parent, a healer and educator practiced at caring for others. I had often been focused on the seriousness of healing and the challenge of overcoming cancer was no exception. I forgot to focus on miracles and awe as much as the ‘work’ of healing. I forgot the light-heartedness of life.
Releasing inhibitions
For me, curiosity, compassion and love were easier to master than Joy. Joy appears to be judged or mistrusted in our world. If someone is overly happy or excited there can be judgements about the person as manic, ‘on something’, flighty or faking it. Having heard these judgements from others and been on the receiving end of some of them myself, I had inhibitions to overcome related to being joyful.
I needed to be around more people who celebrated life. I made the decision. Meanwhile, I committed to further release inhibitions and any fears that I be judged or lose friends. The exhilaration that I experienced anytime Joy was present was something I desperately wanted more of.
Bring on the Joy!
Possibilities
When it came to joy, I first had to determine what invoked the feeling for me and then commit to creating more experiences like this. Beyond that, I wasn’t sure how to have more of it in my life. This is when I chose to open my mind. How did I know what is possible with joy? My life had been focused on understanding and relieving suffering, I didn’t really get joy. Time for further reflection.
If Love is limitless, and I had certainly learned that it is,.....I suppose Joy is too. I think of Joy as simply another aspect of the Source I call God. I wanted to experience no limits. I wanted to experience wide open expansiveness and what was possible with Joy in my life. The next step was consciously committing to this intention.
I was extremely motivated for three reasons.
1. I firmly believed no cancer cell could not exist in an environment of Joy.
2. I like feeling good.
3. It lights me up to move beyond my own limits
I find possibility invigorating. We are still learning so much about what is possible with the human body and the power of our mind. We are constantly learning about the mysteries of the multi-verse we live in. There is really no end to our possibilities. The greatest advancements in healing will continue to come from individuals looking beyond the past and believing in stretching out limits.
Behind all painful experiences, I had maintained a belief in possibility all my life. I think this is from my mother and her mother. Thanks mom!
I repeatedly heard, “you are capable of anything.” or “anything is possible if you put your mind to it.” I took this to heart. Those words aligned with some truth that I carried within.
This belief had carried me through the experience of healing injuries and internal imbalances before. The belief in possibility had fueled my passage through fears, hopelessness and wanting to give up many a time. Possibility had lifted me out of relationships and dead end jobs. Why would it be any different with a cancer diagnosis? I knew that fearlessness was required. Remaining impervious to external beliefs would be required. I knew I had to be around people that understood the power of possibility and human capacity for miraculous change. This proved harder than I could have imagined.
I always saw beyond what people presented in the therapy room. I could so easily see what they were capable of. As a therapist, when I had sat in front of a man who beat his girlfriend, or a heroin addict harming themselves, or a woman lost in depression, in those moments I doubtlessly believed in their purity and possibility. I knew they had choice and I could see the light in their hearts. The results were often determined by surrounding environments, resources and support.
Choices any individual made were always influenced by past experience, strength of determination and what they believed possible. Over time I could recognize very quickly, in individuals and couples, who would change and who wouldn’t.
Now here I was sitting with myself each day witnessing whether I could maintain the strength of will to surrender to what is possible with joy and healing rather than sink into historical limits or collective ideas about what was possible. ..........Could I?
Over and over I was given opportunities to give in to discouragement and forget about Joy. When people stopped messaging to see how I was, I got discouraged. Overwhelmed about supplements or food or doing the right thing to eliminate cancer, I sank into worry. When family members didn’t call or write, I felt sad. When I was unappreciated or ignored as a mother I could drop into rage. Prolonged stress and worry could leave me experiencing such intense hopelessness that I could get lost. Any of these waves could carry me away for a few minutes or a few hours.
However, years of experience had formed a solid trust in my emotions. I knew that feeling it and fully allowing my tears or anger or hopelessness, I would return cleansed. The trick was to not get stuck. I had lots of practice yet it was new to consider that I could experience not just relief out the other side of emotional currents, but joy within it.
Excerpt from : The Revolutionary Heart
Thanks for reading this friends. Joy continues to be a daily contemplation as I work on editing past writing. I recommit myself to it the best I can each day.
I hope you are feeling some Joy in your life these days!
With love,
Alexandra
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