Excerpt from Letters to Gram and The Revolutionary Heart manuscripts
2022
Pre-cancer free scan
Last quarter of the year focused on healing every cell
Gram,
I’m inspired to write about the marvel that is the human heart. I know you can appreciate it.
The community that you and Gramp chose to settle in and the community I came to know in Vancouver, they have all inspired me to write of this today.
I became fascinated with the heart a few decades before the cancer diagnosis. Given the number of life stories I have sat with, it became more and more of a curiosity and a wonder as I learned.
In that training as a listener and healer, it didn’t take long to realize the heart was the point of freedom from all suffering for every last person no matter who they were or where they came from.
Over and over and over again, the mind would tell stories and finally, when the person got to the heart and it released the truth of an emotion, there was greater ease for them or a potent realization. Over and over again I watched the body relax after it had connected with the heart. Our physiological processes adjust immediately. Such a simple process yet humans fight it so much.
Seeing this, and knowing it for myself, I always wanted to get people out of the mind and into the body. This was my life's work and my own practice for decades. It is still my desire.
This heart is an incomprehensible machine in its intelligence Gram. Do you know that our hearts emit 5000X more energy than the brain? It is so powerful! I still find it kinda unbelievable that we haven’t really prioritized it as a humanity. I mean everyone knows it is our heart that moves us and touches us most strongly. Every one of the most celebrated movies and stories are stories of the heart somehow. Courage, love, humor, passion, peace, honor, compassion, care, death, birth, joy.
Over and over we long to see and read stories where the heart takes over the body and mind because we so long for it in ourselves.
The heart is freedom Gram. It is my freedom. You gave my heart freedom because you accepted me and others so fully and unconditionally.
You gave my heart freedom to know peace in those quiet moments at the lake. You helped me appreciate the miracles of birds and animals and plant life.
I want this freedom and so much more for all people Gram. I have so longed for it and tried to give it to so many people I forgot I was one of those who also needed.
Sitting here writing to you helps me remember. I observe myself pause and I am patient writing to you cause the writing is somehow infused with the memories of our leisurely visits sipping tea.
I still long to help others remember more. Especially now, having carried this cancer in the body, it is possible the doctors are correct and I don’t have a long life ahead. I do feel a greater urgency to share more of my purpose. I am intent though to see if I can enjoy and have more fun along the way.
If I have 5 years or decades, I just want to experience more joy and then share it. I guess it’s kinda obvious; I would have more to share if I focused on joy. Exuberance is like that, it spills out everywhere and touches people effortlessly. I love being around happy or excited people. I want to expand that part of my heart to the max. I’ve learned tons about love, compassion, peace, courage and care. I’m proud of how much I have expressed these in my life. Now I want to experience more of the heart's passion, laughter, creativity and joy.
That’s my mission Gram.
Cancer or not, I’m making it happen. I get to choose my thoughts and actions and that’s what I’m choosing. Passion, laughter, creativity and joy, no matter how many days are left.
No way a cancer cell can exist in Joy. That's the great experiment.
Grateful you're with me.
Love you Gram.
Miss you,
Alexandra
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